ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you win again, gameday.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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