Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize