Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
