is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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