why didn't you poke me back
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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