My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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