i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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