yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
