The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
