You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
