How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
