I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
