awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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