I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
