eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
