Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize