Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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