: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
