my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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