mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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