I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
