I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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