I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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