So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
