I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
