i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
