you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
