Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
