So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize