K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
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