My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
