Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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