Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
