I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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