I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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