I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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