Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I FOUND THE LEGS
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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