It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
