try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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