First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize