Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
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