I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize