I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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