she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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