Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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