You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
