I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize