Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
