she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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