Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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