He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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