i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
