i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
i think my cat just said my name.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
