I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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