I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Randomize
