suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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