Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
