Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
