I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
My breasts were aching with rage.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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