Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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