oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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