A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
