do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
