at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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