yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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