The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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