uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
the liver wants what the liver wants
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
