Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
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He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
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Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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